How old were you when you learned the meaning of the word
hemophiliac?
I was in 2nd grade.
You see, there was this guy. A sixth grader named Dwight* (*note: names, other than my own, have been changed to protect the jerks who got me in to trouble). He was in Mr. Smith's class (that's actually his name, because there are lots of Mr. Smiths...some of whom are probably quite kind-hearted, this Mr Smith was not).
There was also this girl. We'll call her Phyllis*. She was in 3rd grade, and we were friends.
One day at recess, Phyllis and I were throwing these little peach pit-looking seeds from the tree on the playground. It began innocently enough, but then it progressed. That's where Dwight enters. He threw one (in a flirtatious way) at Phyllis. She threw one back. This continued for a few minutes...it was all laughing and enjoyment until I joined in.
Phyllis told me to hide around the corner and throw one when Dwight came by. (She would get him to chase her in my direction). Little did they know I had the arm of
Randy JohnsonSo, I crouch down, ready aimed...Phyllis comes racing by, and then Dwight. I heaved that small boulder in his direction, much as David did Goliath. The next thing I know Dwight's face is covered in blood and tears (no sweat, though he was running around).
Of course I got in trouble. Jerky Mr. Smith yelled at me (a 2nd grader) in front of the whole 6th grade class. THEN, they almost made me skip watching the 6th grade presentation of "The Sound of Music". THEN they called my parents.
My mom picked me up from school and asked me to tell her the story. I told her Phyllis made me do it. I bet you can guess what she said "If she told you to jump off a bridge, would you?" I didn't respond, but in hindsight, I probably would have.
When my dad came home he asked me to reenact the scene. I pointed at the radio on the bathroom sink and told him that was the distance between me and Dwight. His response?: "What if he were a hemophiliac?" (A word my little 7-year-old brain had never heard.) I said "A what?" He began to explain to me what it was as I cringed inside thinking I could have killed this boy with my amazing pitching arm.
When I brought this story up to Matt Jensen yesterday, he told me that my response to my dad should have been "Dad, I don't think his parents would let him go to public school if he were a hemophiliac!"
