Weird.
I have been told my entire life that she wasn't going to live for very much longer.
When I was four, my mom told me that I should "kiss Nana because this will probably be her last Christmas". It became something we said, not something we actually believed. Until now.
Weird.
I remember "Nana kisses"...her lips puckered so much that it was practically a fish-face...
I remember getting cards from her and laughing at how many times a sentence was underlined...or my Christmas card last year that had EVERY WORD underlined...she really meant that card.
I remember talking at the top of my lungs and her still only barely being able to hear me. I can picture my Papa's face over her shoulder...he and I laughing at the joke that she didn't get...
Weird.
I remember when she and Grandpa moved out of their house and we went to "claim" things...I took the cuckoo clock (which has so many memories that I'm not sure how I was lucky enough to get it)...I also took the love birds, which I am constantly made fun of for, but now seem like such valuable items...I also remember putting her fake boobs (she had a double-mastectomy) in my shirt...first as bra padding, then as shoulder pads...funny.
I remember eating food at her house for Christmas dinner...gnocchi...which, though the years we began to refer to as "n-yucky" because she had just lost her touch...hours of sitting at her house with promise of a McDonald's drive-thru on the way home since we hadn't eaten enough to make us full.
I remember going to her house and being asked at least a dozen times if we were hungry...and, even though we would say we had just eaten, she was already making a sandwich.
I remember drinking a Coke at her house...and it was slightly off...then, looking at the can, we realized it was from the 1980 Olympics (oh, and this was in 1999).
Weird.
I read my aunt Sarah's blog tonight and it said, "My Last Letter From Nana" and I thought, did she die? Being on the other side of the world, I'm not as easily reachable for important news (texts don't make it to Africa). There was no way she had died. She was never going to die. They've been threatening me with her fake-inevitable-death since I was a kid.
Weird.
I guess I really thought it was never going to happen.
I definitely didn't think I would be so sad when it did.
She was 95. She lived a long, long life.
She has so many stories...and such a great legacy...
Weird that she's not around anymore.
I call dibs on the scrapbook that has the photo of her and Grandpa with the chained-up bear.