Spam-A-Lot

I received this email today.

I've never been an athlete.

{Well, I was Captain of my Period 5 Badminton Team...

in those days, I was an athlete.}

I can't imagine an email "opening" that would describe me less...

except maybe:

Dear Thrill Seeker

or

Dear Jack Johnson Fan

If you had to choose one {or two} incredibly inaccurate "openings" for yourself...what would you choose?