Thursday, December 28, 2017

A Girl Could Get Used To This

I miss you.
I miss how much you get me.
How you see my emotions on
my face.
How do you do that?
push me right the to the edge and bring
me right back to reality.
When we're apart, I don't really
feel the hole.
But together, I feel whole.
It's unnerving: how well you
get me
feel me
fill me
And yet, it's comforting
completing
addicting

A girl could get used to this.


{September 2009}

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

2017 in Questions

Though I'm certainly the only one who reads this, it's fun for me to look back on. And, so, for the twelfth year in a row, the end-of-year questions.

1) What did you do in 2017 that you'd never done before?
Went to Portland, was my own windshield wiper, went to the elephant orphanage in Kenya, saw Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Waitress (with Sara Bareilles!) and the New York City Ballet, attended a balloon festival (after years of trying and failing to do so!), spent 8 months intentionally homeless (mostly housesitting and couch-hopping), wrote a script for and orchestrated an overnight video shoot in Del Taco, flew to San Francisco to see a live taping of my favorite podcast with Aaron Sorkin and surprise guest appearances by Allison Janney AND Melissa Fitzgerald, took a road trip through Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, and Kansas, attended to CCDA in Detroit, visited the DYM Kentucky offices, STOOD ON THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA and TABOGGANED DOWN!, bought a moviepass, walked through the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis, got my ears double-pierced, had personalized sweatshirts made as family Christmas gifts. Saved a ton of money.

2) Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions and will you make more next year?
My goal for the year was to stand on the Great Wall for my 35th birthday...and I did it!

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Sammy had sweet baby Zion. Katie had darling Oliver.

4) Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no one really close to me.

5) What countries did you visit?
Kenya (of course) and China.

6) What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
I would like to have an under 10-minute mile time.

7) What date(s) from 2017 will remain etched in your memory and why?
I went to Portland over Super Bowl, San Diego over Valentine's, Kenya over Easter, the midwest over Labor Day, China over my birthday... all-in-all, a good year for travel. I also had someone profess his love for me on 4th of July weekend...that'll stick with me for a while.

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I mean...standing on the Great Wall of China on my birthday was pretty amazing. Seeing Hamilton on Broadway--also pretty incredible.

9) Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope, praises.

10) What was the best thing you bought?
Hamilton tickets. I really loved my three weeks in Kenya--especially with my cousin Sunny. Have I mentioned China was pretty rad?

11) Whose behavior merited celebration?
My dear friends, Cathi and Emily. Fadi's generosity is unmatched. My bosses are pretty incredible as well.

12) Where did most of your money go?
Starbucks. Airfare. Luna Grill.

13) What did you get really, really excited about?
Leading at VBS, crossing items off my 35 by 35 list, spending a weekend in New York with my mom, working to start a ministry for families with children with special needs at MV.

14) What song will always remind you of 2017?
Despacito. The Game of Thrones theme song. Manhattan by Sara Bareilles.

15) Compared to last year are you:
Wiser? Healthier? Richer?
For sure. Yes. Definitely.

16) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Read.

17) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worried. Self-criticizing.

18) How did you spend Christmas?
We had a great pre-Christmas celebration at my mom's...really, really fun. Christmas Eve, I laid in bed most of the day before going to a service at MV, dinner with the Bachmans, Salhanis, and Morgans, then leading at the MV Candlelight before catching the 11pm candlelight at Irvine. Christmas Day I went for breakfast at Papa and Gina's, then the movies (All the Money in the World) and dinner (Maestros) with my dad and Zac.

19) Did you fall in love in 2017?
Who's to say?! I think so...

20) What was your favorite new TV program?
The Great British Baking Show

21) What was the best book you read?
Just Mercy

22) What was your greatest musical discovery?
Billie Eilish, probably.

23) What did you want and get?
In-ear monitors, a second piercing in each ear.

24) What did you want and not get?
A trip to London over Thanksgiving.

25) What was your favorite film this year?
Lion. or The Big Sick.

26) What did you do on your birthday--how old did you turn?
I turned 35. And, though I cried every day for nearly two weeks leading up to my birthday, on my birthday, I celebrated by climbing to the top of the Great Wall of China, eating longevity noodles in a restaurant overlooking the wall, and eating a big scoop of ice cream in a local mall with Shara. About a week later, I had an amazing dinner with my dear friends: the Maguires, Hays, and Cathi.

27) What celebrity figure did you like most?
I really freaking love Allison Janney.

28) How would you describe your personal fashion style in 2017?
Comfort.

29) What kept you sane?
My church. My people. At work?! Ashley.

30) Who did you miss?
My friends at Precious Kids Center.

31) What valuable life lesson did you learn this year?
God is a God who provides. How much space I need, how much stuff I need, how many great friends I have.

32) What did you gain this year?
Weight. Wisdom.

33) What did you lose this year?
Weight. A few friendships.

34) Who was the best new person you met this year?
Lots of great DYM100 friends. I had a ton of fun with my friend Jake, too.

35) What song lyric sums up 2017 for you?
God of Your promise / You don't speak in vain / No syllable empty or void
or
I've spent my whole life searching desperately / To find out that grace requires nothing of me.

Want to see the last 11 years' worth?! (My favorite details are the songs that marked each year...)
2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016

Saturday, September 16, 2017

2017: The Year I Was Intentionally Homeless... Well, For Awhile

This has been a year of adventure. I don't mean a year filled with adventures, though, arguably, I've been away from home enough times for one to make that case. But, I'm actually referring to the fact that I've spent 6 months of this year intentionally homeless.

It started as a bit of a whim: my lease would expire on March 31 and I'd be leaving for 3 weeks in Kenya about 10 days later... it seemed crazy to sign another lease and pay a ridiculous amount of rent for my house to sit empty, so I would spend 10 days at my mom's and then, when I returned, I'd stay with my dad for a bit until I found a new home. I moved a bunch of stuff to my dad's and put my furniture in storage and set off for Kenya.

As I flew home from Kenya, I very clearly heard God say, "I will have the right home, at the right time, at the right price, in the right place. Just trust me."

I sort of assumed that meant I'd be signing a lease in or around June or July.

But then, things got interesting. There were house-sitting offers and babysitting offers that meant I could move from place to place until it was time for our Student Leadership Conferences in the summertime. (Plus, had some amazing friends that let me stay in their guest bedroom in-between these commitments.) So, again, why pay rent for a room that would sit empty?

I returned from our Student Leadership Conferences to more home/child/dog-sitting opportunities.

And then, I was able to move into my dad's for a bit--and sleep in my own bed and hang up clothes for the first time in months! And now, here we are in mid-September, looking ahead at an October filled with travel and kid-sitting... no leases in sight.

I've learned so much in these six months. So much about myself and so much about God.

I'm hoping to unpack some of these lessons here... you know, for posterity.

Monday, January 02, 2017

2016 in Questions

The end-of-the-year survey tradition continues for an eleventh year (!!!)
2006200720082009201020112012201320142015

1) What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?

2) Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more next year? 
I did not make any resolutions, but I think I may make one or two this year.

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Emily had sweet baby Cohen. 

4) Did anyone close to you die?
Two kids from Precious Kids Center--and the mother of two of the children. 

5) What countries did you visit?
This was a landmark year for trips: Japan, Kenya, and Australia!

6) What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
A bicycle. And a smaller waistline. 

7) What date(s) from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 20--we bought our tickets to Tokyo. September 21-23--I ran an event for 100 youth pastors from around the country. 

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?

9) Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope!

10) What was the best thing you bought?
Our spur-of-the-moment tickets to Tokyo. And Nashville.

11) Whose behavior merited celebration?
Fadi...for sure.

12) Where did most of your money go?
Toward flights--and paying down debt.

13) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Traveling!

14) What song/album will always remind you of 2016?
My Paul Simon playlist--negotiations and love songs.

15) Compared to this time last year, are you:
Wiser?  Yes    Healthier?  Yes   Richer?  Yes.

16) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Dancing. Reading.

17) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying. 

18) How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve at Mariners MV (where I received 'the signal' for the very first time while wearing my West Wing Weekly sweatshirt). Christmas Day at Papa's and then with my dad and brother. The day after Christmas was the giant DiLallo party this year...and it was great.

19) Did you fall in love in 2016?
Nope.

20) What was your favorite new TV program?
The Path. Stranger Things.

21) What was the best book you read?
The Nightingale. 

22) What was your greatest musical discovery?
Paul Simon.

23) What did you want and get?
The prize from the Office Election (and, then a trip to Australia!) Tickets to see Paul Simon, Stevie Wonder, and Agnes Obel. 

24) What did you want and not get?
A trip to China. But, with all of the other travel this year, it's really no big loss.

25) What was your favorite film of this year?
Ooh, that's a tough question. Maybe La La Land?
26) What did you do on your birthday, and how old did you turn?
On my 34th birthday, Emily, Cathi and I spent the night at the Montage Laguna Beach. We ate room service and talked. The next day we had breakfast burritos, saw a taping of James Corden and ate delicious sushi and ice cream.

27) Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?
Josh Malina. Aaron Sorkin.

28) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Somehow stumbled back into jeans.

29) What kept you sane?
The West Wing Weekly podcast.

30) Who did you miss?
The Precious Kids Center kids.

31) What valuable life lesson did you learn in 2016?
I learned so much about managing money and time. 

32) What did you gain this year?
A stronger sense of who I am--how my brain works, what I'm good at, the value I bring to a team. A love for exercise.

33) What did you lose this year?
A bit of weight. 

34) Who was the best new person you met? 
Hard to choose just one! This year brought a new job, a new home, and a new church...and with them, a new book club, a new small group, a new youth ministry...I met so many new, incredible people. 

35) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
There's such a lot of world to see.