I began to wonder how this heart-break, how this love, could fit in to my split-timeline.
Cue a lot of tears and a handful of conversations with people who are so much wiser than I am.
Without knowing much of my story, Kyle asked a perfect question: "What do you have to die to?" Meaning: What are you holding on to that you need to let go of?
The speaker at High School Camp, Josh described it as God saying "I know you are over there, doing something great, but I need you to come over here and do something else for a while"...
My split-life was what I was holding on to. Of course I was, I had wrestled to get to a place where I was okay with it...of course I'm not giving up that easily. I will absolutely fight for the kids that I love in a place that I love. Hold on...that's true of these people here, too. Crap.
I have been traveling to Kenya because I get the opportunity to love those who have had few, if any, people show them what love is. To touch their face even after they flinch in fear of being hit. And to tell them the truth: that they are so deeply loved, not just by the staff, but so much more by the God that created them.
And I had been traveling to Mariners for the same heart-broken, emotional-flinchers. Those who had grown-up in a beautiful, gigantic, empty house.
1 comment:
Wow...that last line is a killer.
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