Sunday, March 30, 2008

Maybe This Doesn't Make Sense...

I was talking to my friend Amanda about old boyfriends.
It seems like there are two ways for a crush to end:
1) In Heart-break:
Someone gets hurt...there's un-met expectations, sadness, tears...a whole list of reasons things might end...but regardless, they end, badly.
2) Unrequitedly:
The love is given by one, but not returned by the other. (The girl loves the boy, but the boy likes someone else...or something along those lines...) Either way, someone will get hurt.

Here's what we were talking about:
In situation #1, I think, over-time, parties involved will heal and move on.

In situation #2, we get in trouble...I think the guy that gave the love that was not returned is "forever" stuck in this affection. Not that they will never move on, or always be hurt, but they will secretly hope that this girl will live to regret their decision not to love him; that someday they will run in to each other and the girl will walk away thinking "Wow, I kinda wish I had given him a chance". In this case, the guy will always think lovingly about the girl. He will never regret his decision to love her because she never lost her spot on the pedestal by becoming a real girlfriend...a real person...She will always be "perfect" in his head. There are few occasions when he will say something like, "She was so stupid" or "Wow, I really lucked out with her not loving me".

I have had my share of each situation. I care for latter more.
I love the idea of continuing to love the people who didn't love you...

4 comments :

Julie Hibbard said...

You're incredible. This one has tears running down my face.
At my 25 year reunion last year, Brian (Popeye) said that he had a lot of sad things happen in his life, but that "losing" me--in 1981--was something that he had never really gotten over. (yeah, he'd had a little to drink)...
but I think it's true. You never forget those people. Ever.

Matt Jensen said...

Makes sense.

Shan Smith said...

Have you seen the movie "Autumn Rush?" You gotta check it out. It made me nervous toward the end. Too much anticipation. Hope your doing ok. Pray for you and the team often. Friends.

TS Harrison said...

There is another possibility (purely hypothetical of course) for the 2nd situation.
Sometimes you can begin to tear away your infatuation by breaking down the perfect image.
- "She had hairy forearms than me."
- "She quoted scripture out of context; 'where two or more are gathered..'"
- "She played in a mariachi band."

However I do agree with you on the pedestal theory. There's Kendra Bayless, Leslie Anderson, Kara Kunkel and Jamie Johnson from my life to prove it.