The Imaginative vs. The Realistic

This afternoon I had a conversation with a friend of mine...a conversation I had been rehearsing for a few days now.

I really wish I could have videoed {I like the look of that word} the way I thought that conversation would take place...the few options in my head...they were good, I'll tell you that.

The actual conversation was fine, but so uneventful in comparison to what my imagination had anticipated...

It made for such a great juxtaposition in my own head today: the fictional version against the factual version. If I could draw, I would animate the scenes.

Did you see 500 Days of Summer? {Dang, I was frustrated at the end of that movie...which is an entirely different story}...this concept reminds me of this brilliant scene.

God Is Good...All The Time

I'm in a funny life stage right now.
Maybe life stage isn't the right term.

I feel like God is teaching me something new everyday.
Maybe I'm just listening for it now...maybe I wasn't tuned-in before?

It's overwhelming, in an incredible way, to be continuously knocked down.
At this point, I typically delete posts like this, and opt to post nothing. I'm not sure why. I think it makes me uncomfortable for someone else to mentally-voice these thoughts of mine.

I am trying my hardest to write everything down...or repeat them over and over in my head until I know they are stuck in place. I don't want to lose anything.

I'm also trying to figure out how to balance the tears--I am so quick-to-tears now.
{You thought I was bad before}
Now I cry about God's love and provision, the way He values us, practically everyday...which is great, but tough to explain to others...and really odd in Taco Bell, right?

I'm trying to keep up with all of this...I'm trying to hold on to as much as I can...
I keep fooling myself into thinking that Kenya will be a time for me to sit and reflect...when it will, more than likely, un-simply launch me further in to this journey.
As exhausting as it seems, I truly can not wait.

30 Things To Do Before I'm 30...An Update {Part 2}

On my 26th birthday, I made a list of 30 Things I'd Like To Do Before I'm 30.
Here's how I'm doing...the answer is not so good.

And, it's a good thing my goal wasn't "blog every day", I'd be in trouble...an entire week? Sorry.

1. Read over 100 books {15 so far}
2. Get a giant tattoo
3. Perform somewhere (in a club, bar, coffee shop)
4. Go on another vacation with Katie Edwards
5. Fit in my old jeans
6. Read through the entire Bible
7. Buy a Louis Vuitton overnight bag
8. Watch at least 75 of the 100 Best Films of All Time {17 so far}
9. Throw two giant costume parties
10. Visit:

a. Japan
b. China
c. Australia
d. Ireland
e. Sweden
f. Ukraine
g. Costa Rica
h. Italy

11. Score over 160 in a game of bowling {I bowled a 91 last night, I'll really need to work at this one!}
12. Take a ballet class {done!}
13. Go golfing with my Papa
14. Fluently speak a second language
15. Make a mosaic table for my house
16. Run a 5k
17. Invite at least 20 people to church {5 so far}
18. Write a book (even if it's never published)
19. Own some sweet high-heeled boots
20. Bring at least 10 students to Kitale, Kenya
21. Learn to read music
22. Dress up and have dinner at a fancy restaurant
23. Watch 9 new series of TV on DVD {6 so far}
24. Skydive
25. Live in New York
26. Kiss someone (a really good kiss)
27. Make a delicious--from scratch--dinner for friends
28. Spend an evening in a room lit by dozens of candles
29. Buy a dress from Bottega Veneta
30. Learn to play an instrument

Baby, Write This Down...

My friend Kyle stopped me at a birthday party a few weeks ago and said,
"God's going to teach you some things in Kenya."

And I thought: "I sure hope so."

I remember, at the end of one trip to London {years ago},
my friend Pete asked me,
"What did you learn about God during this week?"

And I remember thinking: "Nothing, but I hadn't been
trying to learn anything..."
{I also thought--and this shows my immaturity at the time--
why would I be searching for God's lessons while on vacation?}

This time, I'm headed out to buy a notebook...
specifically to record all that God teaches me

I know I'm not done learning...or listening...or growing...or being stretched...
As if I wasn't excited enough

All Good Things

I have the keys to my new place {in Corona Del Mar}...
the first deposit of my things will be made tomorrow morning...

I leave for Kenya in about 9 days!

I helped my friend complete his 500 Thank You Cards project.

I feel silly saying that I'm a little overwhelmed this week; I'm fairly certain everyone feels that way right now...at least everyone in my world.

It feels silly to talk about the chaos because it has all been such blessings: new job, new house, killer "black eye" {it's not all that sweet, but I'm embracing it as the best I'll ever have}, a rapidly approaching trip home...
so much laughter...

God is good.
All the time.

Younger Me

I would say these three things to my almost-22-year-old self:

1) Life is about to get a lot crazier...and then it gets crazy awesome...You'll make it, just hold on.

2) Figure out how to be kind sooner than later...this will save you a ton of energy and apologies...

3) Trust your heart...that's God speaking.

Who else wants to play?

Mariners Church: Day One

Today was a very eventful first day...a first day that shall {quite literally} never be matched. I've highlighted the important bits for you skimmers.

I began the morning with a few tears {obviously, I'm a little bit of a cry baby} as I explained to my new team members the anxiety I was having over being the new kid in the office...They all, kindly, laughed at me and told me that I was not even "that new" and that they "love my tears".

Off to a good start.

A few meetings later...it's lunchtime.

Cole, Buddy and I have regular College Ministry meetings on Tuesday and {thankfully} it was a lunch meeting today...no sitting in the phone booth for me {take that DJ!}

Post lunch, I went house-hunting with Emily {one of the girls in my college small group.} She had done a pre-search and had a list of phone numbers and prices. We drove around Corona Del Mar as she called place after place to hear availability and rent...finally, a woman agreed to meet us in 45 minutes to show her place.

We saw it. We loved it. She loved us. She's drawing up the papers and we'll sign tomorrow...I will live in the flower streets in Corona Del Mar! I am really excited.

So excited, in fact, that I thought "Sure! I'll take the downhill skateboarding challenge! Matt can do it, how tough can it be?" {Keep in mind, I'm wearing a super long dress and ballet flats}

Well...Coming down the first hill, I couldn't control my speed...I yelled "I'm gonna eat it!" and jumped off my board...I landed in this order: feet, knees, elbows, hand, forehead. Brian, who had ridden nearby said, "I saw it coming, but couldn't do anything to stop it, so I just slowed down to watch it happen."

With help from Jared, I have 5 of the biggest band-aids I've ever seen: three on my knees, one on my elbow and one on my left-hand middle finger {which somehow took the biggest beating of any part of my body while all of my other fingers are scratch-free.} I was also given an ice pack, then a meat patty, another ice pack and a bag of frozen peas to bring down the swelling in my now Quasimodo-looking brow-line...awesome.

Following a house-hunt and skateboard crash with a delicious Maguire spaghetti dinner {including Kayla, Matt and Buddy} is a really great way to finish off a first day...

Here's hoping Day 2 is equally as fun, but not as physically painful...

Younger You

I did not make this jpeg; if I had, the question would have been punctuated with a comma instead of a period.

I thought this might make for some interesting comments...

What are 3 things you would go back and tell your past-self?
I'll post mine tonight.

First Day Jitters

Tomorrow is my first real day of work.
I've been with the team at staff day and our Soul Renovation Experience (which, you should seriously consider attending and/or taking your students through), but tomorrow will be my first day in the office.

I'll get a desk. And an email address. And a key fob.
And I'll have to find someone to have lunch with.

I was trying to think of a time {outside of my first day at Serrano Intermediate} when I was this nervous about fitting in and having someone to have lunch with. {I mean, I know that I will be friends with the staff, but what if everyone has lunch plans tomorrow?}

Such a silly fear, but this is actually happening in my head right now.

I keep making jokes about DJ Tanner...
"DJ had to eat in the phone booth on her first day...and she grew up to marry Aladdin..."

The I Heart Revolution

I can't figure out how to word this post...let me preface with that.

I, honestly, have at least one conversation each day that centers around my desire to do something to help end child prostitution, help bring clean water to those who go without, share the life-giving love of Jesus with people who have yet to understand it.

I'm not saying this makes to sound awesome, I'm saying this because I don't know how to do anything, right now, other than pray and listen for opportunity to take action in some form or another.

I really love Hillsong United.
Tim Timmons says that part of leading worship is "helping people sing their prayers".
I think this group has written some really inspired, beautiful and moving prayers.

I would love to see this movie. I'll be in Kenya when it's released...hopefully there is another place I can find it after November 4th.

Watch the trailers HERE. They are around 3 minutes each...and really worth it.
{I have to say, Vimeo, I'm a little sad that I can't embed your videos in my posts...}

I love that people are moving to action...on all fronts.
I'm also praying that it doesn't become a trend and go out-of-style...

Style Rookie

Spent about half an hour reading old posts from Tavi's blog.

And then found THIS video...which is easily my new favorite...

A 12-year old girl rapping about fashion...
It wouldn't allow me to embed it here, but click the link...it's really fun.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation {Part 3 of 3}

I had to give-in to the movement of God. I had to figure out how to come to terms with, yet another, shift in the life-direction. Six weeks in Kenya...and then, who knows when the next visit will be?

It should have been easier to accept staying in Orange County, but I am really grieving the loss of my split-life. I can't explain the love that I feel for the kids and friends in Kitale...and I ache, everyday, at the thought of not seeing them. I have cried, multiple times over the thought that six weeks just isn't long enough.

But I believe, so strongly, in what God is doing...in my life, in Kitale, in the College Ministry.

With Kenya down to six weeks, I began to wonder what my Orange County life looks like...I knew I was moving in the direction of Mariners, but unsure in what capacity I would be there.

A conversation with Jeff {Mariners Student Ministries Pastor} and a lot more thinking, praying, listening...

As of September 1st, I am now the Student Ministry Worship Director for Mariners Church. God moved in such an unexpected way by placing me in the position to teach others how to worship {focusing mostly on, but not limited to music} which is something I have been and am still learning to do in a constant, selfless manner. And allowing me to do all of this while maintaining my connection to and involvement in the College Ministry.

I am really excited. And nervous. And scared. And overwhelmed...in such a great way. I love being in a place where I know that I will have to rely on God to make it happen...I don't have enough experience in this job to do it on my own.

I leave for Kitale on September 30th, so I will sing in the High School Ministry every weekend until I leave...then I will take a leave for 6 weeks...and return mid-November to continue singing each weekend and begin to take steps toward growing the student worship piece of the ministry. {I'm so thankful that Taffy is one of my best friends...having his help makes this process a little less frightening!} Oh, and I will begin meeting with my small group of College girls...

I know God is not through teaching me.
And I'm fairly certain He will continue to change my plans to His.
Yikes...and hooray.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation {Part 2 of 3}

I began to wonder how this heart-break, how this love, could fit in to my split-timeline.

Cue a lot of tears and a handful of conversations with people who are so much wiser than I am.

Without knowing much of my story, Kyle asked a perfect question: "What do you have to die to?" Meaning: What are you holding on to that you need to let go of?

The speaker at High School Camp, Josh described it as God saying "I know you are over there, doing something great, but I need you to come over here and do something else for a while"...

My split-life was what I was holding on to. Of course I was, I had wrestled to get to a place where I was okay with it...of course I'm not giving up that easily. I will absolutely fight for the kids that I love in a place that I love. Hold on...that's true of these people here, too. Crap.

I have been traveling to Kenya because I get the opportunity to love those who have had few, if any, people show them what love is. To touch their face even after they flinch in fear of being hit. And to tell them the truth: that they are so deeply loved, not just by the staff, but so much more by the God that created them.

And I had been traveling to Mariners for the same heart-broken, emotional-flinchers. Those who had grown-up in a beautiful, gigantic, empty house.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation {Part 1 of 3}

Over the past two months, God has been re-working my plan for my life.
Funny how that always happens.

I haven't been blogging much of any importance because so much has been happening internally, and I wasn't sure how to share it all here...so, now that it's {somewhat} sought-through, here's what's been happening:

I came home from Kenya very certain that I was meant to split each year between Kitale and Orange County. I spent a while grieving the loss of my initial plan: come home and live in Orange County, get a job, fall in love, have a life here. Don't get me wrong, I love Kitale and was {ultimately, though not without frustration} happy to shake-up my plans for God's. Especially since I have seen, time and time again, that His plans are infinitely better than mine could ever be.

I finally accepted and began to walk-toward God's plan. Or so I thought.

Around April, I began to volunteer in the Mariners Church College Ministry. They had been running a program with two male leaders, but no female. Yikes, that's tough.

God began to break my heart for these students. Each week I returned to the group and heard stories of abandonment, attempted suicide, loneliness, and a lack of belief in God's true love. Over time, I began to see that the same heart-break and depth of love I had come to know in Kitale, existed 20 miles from my own front door...

Spoonfuls of Life

My friend, Jeff, spoke in church this weekend.
It will be worth your half-hour to watch it. {Very much so...}

I'm still processing what this looks like in my life...and how to share all of that...

Watch it here.

Pease On Earth

My friend Josh Pease has finally begun to blog.
He is an incredible writer.
Brevity is not his strong suit, but his posts are definitely worth the read.

Check him out.

Charity: Water

I found the link to Charity:Water on the Catalyst Road Trip blog...Maybe I'm behind-the-times with this. {After watching the video below, I realize that I very much am.}

I began to look around. I've heard of some organizations that don't dig wells deep enough to sustain the clean water long-term...I don't know what that means in feet {or metres}, but I was hoping to find something to prove that they were aware of this issue. {Not that I'm writing them to fight it, if they don't, but I wouldn't post about it}

I clicked around the site for about an hour; watching videos, reading stories, then pasting a banner to my blog html.

I love when someone becomes moved to action. Seeing a need and doing what he can to make a change. I love it.

Then yesterday, I saw a Tweet {ugh, I hate that word} from Joel Houston {of Hillsong} who is asking his friends and family to donate to Charity:Water in lieu of gifts for his 30th Birthday...pretty cool.



Take a look around...it will be worth your time.

Note: I am not asking you to give money. I am merely sharing what piques my interest, in hopes that it might do the same for you. Having said that, I probably will participate in the future and think it could be cool for you to do the same.